AN ODE TO A PRAWN

Sometimes I like to eat a prawn for my tea.

Plump, juicy, pink. Straight from the salty sea.

They have spooky round eyes like little black spheres.

They wear jackets that are crispy

and have no visible ears.

THE SPOT

Today I woke up to be greeted with a large, juicy spot, smack bang in the middle of my face.

For fuck sake! I cried. I've had a really shitty month, just get off my case!

But the beacon like spot just sat there. Yellow, round, and shiny.

Why in God's name did it have to be so big.? Why was it not modest and tiny?

Oh well, I thought. I am plucky, I'm young. I'm only nineteen

I'm panther thin and dynamic and keen.

WHAT HAPPENED TODAY

Today I shut Michael Palin's tail in the door.

He meeowed alot, so it must have been sore.

MEATBALL

I yearn to be a juicy meatball

Round, warm, brown and small

Instead I'm a packet of pork

minced up, untouched, longing to be pronged by a fork.

THE WORM

There once was a worm called Jack

Who went fucking mental when it dawned on him that he didn't have a back.

He was just one long, stupid thing

A fat, brown, shiny piece of string.

He loathed himself, he thought he was crap.

Why do I have to be a fucking worm, when all I long to be is a rat?!